We’ve been told that intensity leads to performance. That clenching our jaws, grinding our teeth, and tightening up is how you break through a difficult challenge.
But here’s what the science shows:tension is slow and inefficient. Relaxation is a competitive advantage.
This month, I want to explore two things with you:
- Why relaxation might be your sharpest tool for resilience.
- A simple technique to stay grounded before your next high-stakes moment.
What We Know: Relaxation Beats Tension
I recently sat down with Dr. Michael Joyner, a renowned performance scientist at the Mayo Clinic. He’s spent years studying elite athletes, including the most decorated Olympian of all time, Michael Phelps.
Phelps had plenty of physical gifts. But what stood out most to Joyner?
“I’ve never seen someone so relaxed in the water.”
Even in the heat of competition, Phelps stayed calm. That was his superpower.
You can see the same trait in this photo of Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce, widely regarded as one of the greatest sprinters of all time.
Look at her face compared to the runners beside her.
Her expression is calm. Composed. Almost serene.
That’s not a coincidence. It’s a skill.
And it’s one that can be learned.
What I’ve Learned: Tension Might Start You, But It Won’t Sustain You
When I’m preparing for a big keynote, there’s an initial hustle period—research, writing, rehearsal.
But the most important thing I do beforeI step on stage? I relax.
Because if I bring that hustle with me, I walk onstage tense. And when I’m tense, I can’t perform.
So I loosen my shoulders.
Relax my jaw.
Unwrinkle my forehead.
And I breathe.
What You Can Try: Pre-Cycling
Before your next high-stakes moment—a tough conversation, a presentation, even a personal challenge—try this 3-step technique.
- Visualize the discomfort. Picture the upcoming moment honestly. Invite the discomfort in.
- Visualize your most relaxed self. Imagine yourself meeting the moment with a calm posture—soft shoulders, open face, steady tone. Visualize it as vividly as possible.
- Invite a little more of that energy into the moment. Even a small shift in how you show up can create a big shift in how others respond.
You don’t need to force relaxation—that would defeat the purpose. You just need to invite it in.
Because in the moments that matter most, your ability to stay relaxed may be your greatest edge.